a stream of consciousness/ lyrical story. an epic poem. that is twenty two chapters long. and finally done....
I. Crawl. Closer. In. hollow bones Tunnels. Too. Empty. And I can't crawl between. My head. Is wet. With thoughts. with thoughts And I can't crawl between. The. Emptying. Of. My hollow. move A. Sight. and/ no I have been here before. i know This. Earth. Is. Just. Beyond. Her. Skin. my mom Stuck. Between. A. Here. And. Now. i am And. Push. Push. And. slu slush I. Am. A. Tiny. Thing. To. See. a tiny thing to be/ to be A. Tiny. Wing. To. Beat. and i have been here before . . . be. f . ore. . . . . Stuck. Between. A. Here. And. Now. I. Have. Been. i have been Set. Up. In. A. New. Skin. Again. And.
.. . . .. .. .. .. . . my face is a lantern/ a clock torn . . . . . . . . . .. .
And. how many times How many times must I pass. The Tunnels. Too. Empty. And. hiccup In. A. Visionary. Liquid. Impass. i make I. Rake. My. Cells. Into. A. Face. Shape. and/ now/ smile please Let's. Skip. The. Formalities. because you know I have been here before. But. W/. Double. The. Weight. And skin. i'm a I'm. A. Little. Little. Now. i'm a little birdie/ cow I'll. Stretch. My. Feathers. Mark. My. Tethers. And. ha Break. Me. Out. Of. This. hate me out a fist Push me out. Of. it's I. Have. A. Sister. splits my head is on backwards Who. Is. This. Girl. To. Me? she's atta thority... Life is such an enormity. And I am just an unborn thing. a thing/ and/ and/ and And now that I have a body. Am I on my own? oh no A. Baby. Was. In. Here. Before. Me. A moment suspended. And a fertilized egg. again There. Is. Someone. Out. There. A. Little. Older. Than. Me. and soon Soon I'll have a mommy to call my own. a home and a name/ to float/ ka ka Caught. Under. A. Stretched. Belly. I. Am. I am a baby. sta Sad. But. Slippery. and i am And I can really move around in here. and kick I push out and over jean. and gee Little me. Kicks out. At a round. Wall. kt And. I push out. and/ i/ push/ out And. My. Mother. Drops. Water. shit as her legs cross quick Closed. And. I twist. Like. A. Ferris. Wheel. this I am drowning. And sick. and i am breathing And I am breathing. And. I. Am. Empty. And. I. Am. screaming I am empty. I am empty. and i am moving quick trip into a fall And my mother. Is. Gurney. Bound. bright lights I am empty. But full. and i move And. I. Feel. A. Panic. In. Her. Pulse. her pulse And like a yawn that won't break.
She expands w/ me. stop She expands w/ me. stop She expands w/ me.
come on mommy/ push/ push/ push/ and I'll become more than in utero. yes I. Will. Stretch. Out. Into. Old. Bones. and on her back My mother yells. As. The doctors. Say. Breech. to me as the doctors say breathe real deep I am equal parts water and future debris. and/ and My gut is telling me. When. I. Am. Older. Things'll get hard. but i can't stop it now This movement forward. this Stars of a different weather. don't forget her my existence means well And. I. Tuck. My. Head. In. three fingers hold my leg/ but I won't be forced to face you. i'll choose to Darkness. And flecks. do somersault/ and Now. My. Head. Points down. For. Forever. and a day/ you say I have knees in my face. And. So. I. Straighten. and so i straighten Into. A. Newborn. Dive. a hive/ a life And I have broken free. Properly. And. Almost. Head. First. i rush out of your womb And from one world to the next. ka Comfort is a string. I missed. And. A. Finger. I. Kissed. And. A. Thumb. In. My. Mouth. not open for long/ and i I. Am. Happy. To. Internalize. And. Thunder. My.
- - -- - my questions will never be answered here - - - - -
And. Slice. My. Thread. That. Untangled. Me. And was a beginning. mine And scrub off my liquid home. I don't like. This. I feel lost. I. I am just a baby. Born. With my eyes smashed shut. Carried to a table. W/ a cloth. And more. i and scrub off my liquid home W/out an answer. Or a chance. Here. A. Cell. That made more. i I've been packaged up like a gift in fleece. .. . and baby dust/ cry. . . . And I am quiet in arms. I only knew through. Folds. Of. A. Belly. And she holds me. As I watch the room retreat. and sleep i have a loving mom here And a sister peeking. I really wanted. One. has a Smiling face. And. In. My. Eyes. I match her. Because. I'm happy too. And my new world dulls to a gentle hum. a mom As a monitor sounds. And. I. Look. At. Life. Again. Covered. In flashing lights. a big scary place/ i think I must have landed on the sun. and dun Because I don't know any of these textures. these spaces It's a big place. W/ moving faces. and the voices Unrecognizable. Vibrations. Are. But. My. Sister. Has. A. Voice. That. I. Know. And my mother. real close Are known to me.
- - - -- - --- -and i'm forged from you --- - - - - - - ---- -
In this flashing life. And these flashing lights. are Are making me dizzy. these strange things and strangers Rushing around. And. Making. Me. Tired. (of this motion) and I feel like I need captions to explain. explain How this life thing works. And from a mind. To a mind. And. An. Eye. To an eye. i want to send her A baby thought was just born today. and now i want I don't even think it is possible. And. I. Grab. On. Tight. And scrunch up. my My. Folded brain. Is a dented can. and i'm scared I am a baby in a blanket. But I want back in.*